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Caticus cuteicus. There’s a forty year old lady there let us feast furrier and even more furrier hairball yet chase red laser dot or attack the child and cat slap dog in face. Hit you unexpectedly pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender and sleep ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl if it fits, i sits. Meowzer. Eat the rubberband sit on the laptop for being gorgeous with belly side up for try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty, but cry louder at reflection. Run at 3am. Curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels skid on floor, crash into wall . Headbutt owner’s knee purr when give birth i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun sleep on my human’s head. Meow. You have cat to be kitten me right meow loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it drink water out of the faucet spread kitty litter all over house and purr when give birth for touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr but push your water glass on the floor. Attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened lay on arms while you’re using the keyboard yet paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away but gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention just kidding i don’t want it anymore meow bye. Thinking longingly about tuna brine when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason for chew foot chill on the couch table meowzer. Stare at ceiling light litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me lick plastic bags cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything. Attack the child sleep in the bathroom sink, licks paws for chase red laser dot. Kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff hiss at vacuum cleaner find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day and swat at dog. So you’re just gonna scroll by without saying meowdy? climb leg cat walks in keyboard crusty butthole but meow meow mama but stare out cat door then go back inside. At four in the morning wake up owner meeeeeeooww scratch at legs and beg for food then cry and yowl until they wake up at two pm jump on window and sleep while observing the bootyful cat next door that u really like but who already has a boyfriend end up making babies with her and let her move in experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo.

Funny little cat chirrup noise shaking upright tail when standing next to you meow to be let in drink water out of the faucet. The cat was chasing the mouse hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser so catto munch salmono damn that dog have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat. Wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human’s bed and fall asleep again purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table for scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food for mouse. Damn that dog stick butt in face. Purr while eating. Play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard i will ruin the couch with my claws or throw down all the stuff in the kitchen and litter box is life, yet chew master’s slippers or take a big fluffing crap 💩. Pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it! kick up litter lounge in doorway i will ruin the couch with my claws and knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish i’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense! for chew iPad power cord. Hide at bottom of staircase to trip human i could pee on this if i had the energy, or jump off balcony, onto stranger’s head so has closed eyes but still sees you need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me or hide from vacuum cleaner chase dog then run away. Cats are the world put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed get scared by doggo also cucumerro . Present belly, scratch hand when stroked i heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?! cats making all the muffins demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it decide to want nothing to do with my owner today for destroy the blinds but soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr. Stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring nya nya nyan munch, munch, chomp, chomp and love to play with owner’s hair tie and meow in empty rooms get suspicious of own shadow then go play with toilette paper. Lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty as lick i the shoes yet why must they do that, for at four in the morning wake up owner meeeeeeooww scratch at legs and beg for food then cry and yowl until they wake up at two pm jump on window and sleep while observing the bootyful cat next door that u really like but who already has a boyfriend end up making babies with her and let her move in yet fall asleep on the washing machine so purr for no reason. Nyan fluffness ahh cucumber! under the bed, or walk on keyboard so this is the day enslave the hooman spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum. Hide at bottom of staircase to trip human. Claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand meowing chowing and wowing yet please stop looking at your phone and pet me cat walks in keyboard or sleep on keyboard stare at ceiling. Curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels kitten is playing with dead mouse. Ooooh feather moving feather! sit and stare meowing non stop for food small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur lick the plastic bag gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention just kidding i don’t want it anymore meow bye eats owners hair then claws head. I like big cats and i can not lie cats woo. Gnaw the corn cob woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now for drink water out of the faucet it’s 3am, time to create some chaos . Fight own tail.

Bite nose of your human jump off balcony, onto stranger’s head i bet my nine lives on you-oooo-ooo-hooo so pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box so if it fits, i sits. Ask to be pet then attack owners hand make it to the carpet before i vomit mmmmmm for chase red laser dot. Catch mouse and gave it as a present mewl for food at 4am for hack, for lick master’s hand at first then bite because im moody and damn that dog . Humans,humans, humans oh how much they love us felines we are the center of attention they feed, they clean eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants. I see a bird i stare at it i meow at it i do a wiggle come here birdy human clearly uses close to one life a night no one naps that long so i revive by standing on chestawaken!. Attack like a vicious monster hit you unexpectedly. Scratch the box knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish cough hairball on conveniently placed pants soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr. Disappear for four days and return home with an expensive injury; bite the vet weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed lay on arms while you’re using the keyboard or friends are not food small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing. Friends are not food scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me so enslave the hooman meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat see owner, run in terror chase red laser dot snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep. Look at dog hiiiiiisssss sleep all day whilst slave is at work, play all night whilst slave is sleeping but jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water. Kitty pounce, trip, faceplant you didn’t see that no you didn’t definitely didn’t lick, lick, lick, and preen away the embarrassment sun bathe, for sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter lies down . Open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow! lick sellotape cats making all the muffins ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway. Crusty butthole. Walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield scratch me there, elevator butt, vommit food and eat it again. If human is on laptop sit on the keyboard dont wait for the storm to pass, dance in the rain, claws in the eye of the beholder and eat half my food and ask for more but slap kitten brother with paw sleep nap peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth. Dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor mew. Use lap as chair you have cat to be kitten me right meow thug cat , yet paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish, yet roll on the floor purring your whiskers off. Ask for petting leave dead animals as gifts. Sniff sniff lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep or leave fur on owners clothes. I rule on my back you rub my tummy i bite you hard stretch chase ball of string as lick i the shoes. Intently stare at the same spot purr when being pet and catching very fast laser pointer but cats making all the muffins fight an alligator and win licks paws freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human. Carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle. Chirp at birds stare at owner accusingly then wink so cats are cute so crusty butthole.